


Love in Unlikely Places

by Voodoo_Dolls



Category: Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types, Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2020-03-09 04:13:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18909325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voodoo_Dolls/pseuds/Voodoo_Dolls
Summary: Romeo has just received word that Juliet is dead. His heart is broken. The seams of his soul have come undone. Life isn't worth living without Juliet.In which a suicidal Romeo goes to the apothecary's (whom I shall refer to as Gianni) to get poison to kill himself.Gianni talks him out of itI'd like to point out that this fic will be written in regular English. I might do an Elizabethan version at some point idk.I JUST WANNA LET Y'ALL KNOW THAT I WROTE THIS DUMPSTER FIRE AS A FUCKING JOKE AND IT'S SHITTY ON PURPOSE!!!!





	1. Nothing Matters. Nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> We studied Romeo and Juliet in English class and for our culminating project we were asked to act out one of the scenes. My friend and I chose the apothecary scene and at some point I decided to write a crappy wattpad-style fanfic about it for her.
> 
> Here it is, Sophia!!

_Romeo_

 

Juliet is dead.

Romeo wishes he were too.

It's not like he's known her very long, hell, he met her literally last week but they were soulmates, he's sure of it. She told him that if he were a bird, she would pet him to death. To which he responded, "hnansanqnhsjssk I wanna be a bird so fuckin bad"

It was the most romantic thing he'd ever said, and he'd said lot of romantic things in his life.

But alas, Juliet was no longer in his life, she had crossed the river of mortality to the After.

He was going to join her.

He just had to make a quick shopping trip first.


	2. I Just Came Here for Some Poison and I'm Feeling So Attacked Rn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romeo goes to the apothecary's to get some poison to kill himself, he offends Gianni and doesn't get the poison.
> 
> This is the part where the true wattpad-shitiness begins. I'm pulling out all the stops: messy buns, jewel-coloured eyes, unnecessary over-description ALL OF IT.

_Romeo_

 

Poison. He needed poison. So to the apothecary's he went with a gigantic sack of coins in hand. It was a shabby place, a shack really. It was also incredibly dirty. The potion bottles on the shelves all had a thick layer of dust and the dried herbs hanging from the ceiling were rotted and moldy.

This apothecary dude should hire a maid immediately!

Romeo knocked on the desk and a young man came up to the desk.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!"

He was handsome. His chocolate brown hair was kept out of his emerald green orbs in a messy bun. His beard was neatly trimmed and contained no debris. His teeth were straighter than Romeo and whiter than the English royal family before 2018. Though he wore peasantly rags, they were clean and artfully ripped at the knees.

In other words, he was the hottest hipster peasant Romeo had ever seen.

Romeo was speechless, thunderstruck by this man's incredible gorgeousness. Once he had managed to pick his up his jaw from the floor, he spoke.

"C'mere dude, I see that you're in dire need of some cash. I got forty ducats with me, they're yours if you can hook me up with some dank poison."

The unbearably handsome apothecary blinked.

"I can't do that. That’s illegal.”

Romeo rolled his eyes.

"Dude, you're already dirt poor and the fucking government is taking everything from you through taxes and shit. Who does that benefit? You? No! The law works in favour of rich white men like myself! You of all people should be disregarding the law completely! Disrupt the status quo! Let anarchy reign supreme! Take what's yours! Sell me some Godforsaken poison!"

The drop-dead gorgeous apothecary's perfect nostrils flared with rage.

"How dare you come into my shop and insult me like this, you entitled little imbecile! Bitches like you are exactly what's wrong with society! Taking everything from the working class and walking all over them for good measure! I may be poor, I may go to bed hungry every night and I may not have health insurance but I have dedicated my life to providing low-cost, relatively safe healthcare to other peasants like myself. I can sleep at night knowing that I'm helping people and keeping them alive! What have you done with your life? Taken from those who work for the bread that they eat and galavanting around with complete disregard for the sufferings of the common folk? Say what you will about me, but at least I'm doing something worthwhile. Even though I absolutely loathe you, I will not provide you with the tools to harm yourself."

Romeo was shooketh.

"How'd you know I was going to use the poison on myself? 

"You're not the first suicidal douchebag to come in here demanding an end to their life, and you definitely won't be the last."

 Romeo sighed. The apothecary continued.

"Why do you want to kill yourself so badly?"

Romeo began to tell his tale.

"There was this girl, Juliet, and she was something else y'know? I didn't really know her, I only met her three days ago but there was just something in the air that night and we really hit it off. But, she was promised to this count dude named Paris and I think he's pedophile because he's like 25 and Juliet's only 13-"

"And how old are you?"

"19"

"That's disgusting. Continue"

"Age is just a number! She was very emotionally mature and-"

"Said every pedophile ever."

"ANYWAY Juliet and I were totally head-over-heels in love but it's not like I could've just strolled in there and competed for her hand in marriage y'know? We're from rival families. She's a Capulet and I'm a Montague so the odds were never in our favour. She was supposed to marry Count Paris tomorrow so we got married yesterday and we were gonna run away and be free together and all that but then I killed her cousin and got exhiled from Verona-"

"You did  _what?"_

"He started it by killing my best friend!"

Romeo continued with his tale, the apothecary’s eyebrows were on the verge of disappearing into his hairline.

"I haven't even told you the worst of it! Juliet died this morning! The love of my life is dead! And I wish I were too!"

The apothecary scoffed.

 “Don’t you scoff at me!”

The apothecary continued to scoff.

 "You know nothing about her. How can she be the love of your life?”

"BECAUSE I'VE NEVER LOVED ANYONE MORE THAN I'VE EVER LOVED HER OKAY"

The apothecary blinked.

"The love of your life? You're 19. You have plenty of time to move on.”

"Some people move on, but not me." Said Romeo melodramatically.

 "Did you even know her favourite colour?"

"Well, no but-"

"Her favourite song?"

"Uhhh.”

”Pathetic,” Said the apothecary. “You were going to marry this girl and you don’t even know what her favourite song is.”

“I don’t need to know her mind just her-“

”Face? Body?  _Heart?”_

 _”_ Self”

”What the fuck does that mean?”

”You would know if you’d ever been in love.” Romeo said mockingly.

”Perhaps I know nothing about love, but I do know one thing.”

”And what, pray tell, would that be?”

”That you won’t last 7 days in Mantua without your powerful family behind you.”

”I don’t need to last in Mantua. I’m going back to Verona to be with my love. I will spend my last moments with her.”

”So that’s why you wanted that poison so badly.”

”Yep.”

”Well, I’m not giving it to you.”

”Fine. I get it from somewhere else. Somewhere that doesn’t stink of rotting tomatoes.”

“Fine by me.”

”Goodbye then.”

Romeo left the shop and, as much as the apothecary didn’t want to admit it, his heart felt heavy.”

 

 

 


	3. There Aren’t any Other Apothecaries in Your Area

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So as it turns out, there aren’t any other apothecaries in Mantua. The shady herbs and potions market is dominated entirely by the apothecary dude. Romeo’ not about to go all the way to France to get some reliable poison. Time is ticking and Romeo really wants to have his dramatic death moment.  
> Which begs the question, whatever will he do?

lololololool


End file.
